Day 132 – Tom Jones – Motherless child

I really thought yesterday might have been the toughest day yet, but it turns out today was even harder. I’m just struggling with myself – and that’s ok. I’m not asking for sympathy – I’m just telling the truth. I have a lot of self judgement coming up now.  I know it will pass.  I really don’t like this dance and I hope you don’t watch – hahaha….how bad is that?  Anyway, I appreciate the encouraging comments yesterday. I’ll pull out of the funk…this too shall pass.

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9 responses to “Day 132 – Tom Jones – Motherless child”

  1. Diane Rocha says :

    Mary,

    My Darling, I understand being hard on yourself; I am often hard on myself too – but this is not the day for that. I know, I know, I always tell you how terrific you are – but that’s because you are – terrific, that is. And this is not pity or sympathy; it is simply the truth.

    #1. You are a fabulous dancer.
    #2. You move with such fluidity.
    #3. There are so many of us who would give anything to dance like you do.
    #4. And last , but definitely not least – it is Tom Jones! How can you go wrong?!?

    You will get through this Demon Doubt thing. You know it. I know it. We all know it. Just kick that Demon Doubt guy to the curb where he belongs!

    Love you,
    Diane

    • Mary says :

      I will get through it, I have before for sure. It’s just that I’ve never had to do it so publicly. I could fake it – but that would be inauthentic. Thanks for the support Diane. I really appreciate it.

  2. Meg says :

    That’s the whole point of this project, I guess — that it continues through every mood. Quite an undertaking! And probably not completely understood or appreciated while you’re still in the thick of it. Take care of yourself, one day at a time…

    • Mary says :

      I think you’re right Meg. Perhaps it’s an exercise in will over mood. I may learn that I can get through it and WILL not let myself down.

  3. leslie butler says :

    You’ve taken on an immense responsibility with this project. I really liked “Motherless Child” precisely because you put your frustration and disappointment right into the dance, and communicated it to us. It comes across as very authentic. I love the dances that have that authenticity. The ones I like less are the ones that seem like a commercial for Mary, or “All About Mary.” “Motherless Child” speaks to a universal feeling and goes very deep. That’s what hooks me!
    Take it easy…but take it!

  4. Mary says :

    Thanks for commenting Leslie. I have to say “all about Mary” stings a little…but that’s ok. Some of these are commercials for me I guess…since I would love to continue performing and dancing as a career. It’s funny…it must sting because of an old family pattern where I only felt I got attention when things were bad…otherwise…be quiet. Your comment _for a moment_ read that the only really authentic ones are the more serious or somber ones – which generally happen when I’m not personally feeling great..

    I feel they all are an authentic expression of some part of me. It’s only natural that some people will be attracted to certain ones and repelled by others. There are many who prefer the “commercial” ones to this type. There’s a couple more great lessons for me – 1. Not take it personally (approval or disapproval) and 2. Don’t try to make people like what I’m doing. Just do it.

    I appreciate you, Leslie!

    • leslie butler says :

      I love some of the funny ones too, like Sylvia and Javier in “Black Betty.” You have a very wide range, which is great!

  5. Linda Buchner says :

    I totally should have gone with my gut yesterday – I could tell something was amiss, but not knowing you all that well, I was hesitant to ask. I’m sorry.
    I LOVE this dance. And, yes ~ this, too, shall pass.
    Feel free to call – even if you don’t know what to say. Your honesty is inspiring and I encourage you to walk through this little bump in the road with your head held high. That’s not faking it, but knowing who you truly are.
    XO

  6. Karen says :

    You danced your emotions on this day and I liked it. I’m sorry about how you were feeling but I appreciated you sharing your emotions.

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