Day 149 – Talkin All That Jazz…

Today I was really thinking about why I’m doing this project. There are many reasons (that I often forget and/or disparage) one of which is to get technically better. I’m not sure how, but I do feel that is happening. I guess I do know…it’s from regular use and practice. Even though some days I’m not dancing up to my potential, but I’m still dancing. I do notice a subtle improvement in my technique lately and there I find satisfaction.

On another note, I am sad much of the time. I love my life and am grateful for what I have been given – and I often feel sad for so much of what I see and feel when I observe the world. This makes it difficult to dance some days, but I am grateful that I do because it is something that allows me to experience a feeling of joy and freedom and a certain degree of control. This even applies given the improvisational nature of this experiment.

I have a quest to be a part of the Ellen show. But I don’t want that to become the focus of the project. It is making me ask myself – why? Why do I want to be on Ellen? The answer is starting to form for me. I want more people to dance. Dance does make a difference. It makes people feel joy. Joy is good. I want to help people feel good in a world full of reasons not to.

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