Day 315 – Teachers…

It’s been an interesting day and I’m in a bit of a flurry over how to weave all the stuff I want to share into a really nice wrap. I’ll try.

Yesterday I saw this little girl dancing with complete abandon and incredible musicality in a video on FB. Her movements were fluid, grounded, rhythmical, and relaxed and some were insanely fast. My first response was, YES. This is what we can do when we open the channels. Before they get closed. Ok, so every-body is different, but it’s true, children don’t know what they can’t do. This makes them wonderful teachers.

I got to thinking about teachers and how one of the simplest concepts I can easily forget is that everyone and everything is my teacher. So today, Marky and I headed out on our scooter to meet our friend Debbie at the grand opening of Pandolfi’s Deli in Columbus Park to watch the Barclay Martin Ensemble (with whom I have recently become acquainted and I am a fast fan.)

I was excited to get my dance done there. As we sat down at our table with our tasty sub sandwich from the deli, Mark commented on a gentleman who he thought would make a good dance partner for me. I looked over and realized it was Lonnie McFadden a legendary tap dancer and singer. I was awe-struck for a moment. I’ve seen him perform at Jardine’s in Kansas City and was blown away. I am a neophyte tap dancer who dreams of being 1% as accomplished as this man.

Next thing I know, Marky is up talking to him. I got so nervous and I went over to try to not seem strange, since I had a feeling Mark was going to talk to him about me. I told Lonnie how much I adored his dancing. The next thing that happened really took me for a ride. Out of the kindness of his heart and enthusiasm for my project, Mark invited Lonnie to dance with me.

Lonnie’s response was exactly what I would have expected – he was put in a rather awkward position of saying he wouldn’t feel right doing it. I totally understand this. For so many reasons people don’t want to dance in public, but asking a professional dancer to just get up with you and wing it is asking them to risk too much. As a professional dancer, I always feel awkward if I am the only one to get up to dance in front of a band. I don’t want to be perceived as putting myself into their spotlight. (This could be wrong thinking…I’m willing to explore a different perspective.)

After that, I couldn’t get up and dance in front of Lonnie McFadden. My own ego was too bruised, punishing me for perpetrating such a faux pas. I know better than that. I didn’t mean to make Marky feel bad for trying to do something good, but for a moment I was really off kilter.

It didn’t take me any time to realize that the sequence of events and my response to them were providing me lots and lots of study material on my path towards self-realization. The ego constructed so many barriers to entry into the dance – for me, for Lonnie and for everyone at the event. No one was dancing. I felt ashamed that I couldn’t do it, but I’m grateful to all of my teachers and the demonstration of what happens when my channels aren’t open. And for the opportunity to rebound and begin again.

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